feeling a bit off

today started off good. got up this morning did some stuff and then off to work. low and behold the fist call i get at work is from my ex's family. they subscribe to the theater i work at and needed to take care of some tickets. it was all fine and good and his family is very nice and it is good to hear that everyone is doing well. after work e and i went to woodfield mall to get some christmas shopping done. it was good i got some stuff for people and finaly bought myself a ramones t-shirt that i have been wanting forever. but as we were driving home i was just reminded of what my life was like when i used to go to woodfield before and most of that sadness came from the whole ex thing. it brought up a lot of issues. mainly the fact that i let myself be treated so badly for so long. i think about it and just think "how could i have put myself through that?" i was just at such a low point in my life and had no idea that things could be good again.

so here i am a few years later. my life has changed for the good in so many ways: i am in a good job, still figuring out the whole school thing but on a good path, thinkin about moving, have a MUCH better sense of self, and in a great relationship! not so bad eh? and that is just the start of the list. i think i have to give myself a break. i a doing ok. yes, there are people who may seem to be doing better but hell i have had to go through a lot and i have to give myself that.

ahhhh this feels good. just writing this all out has made me feel better!